Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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