It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
