We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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