Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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