Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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