It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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