is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dignity is for republicans.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
