just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
