so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
