Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
