census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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