Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize