Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My feet surprised me
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