This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The Olympian is in my bed
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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