You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dear god my vagina.
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