Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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