We named our party play list daddy issues
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
