I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
