Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
