just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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