I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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