she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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