Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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