I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
