3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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