I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
