The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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