My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize