clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
