I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
