I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I bet he comes in French.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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