I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize