i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
