He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
