Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
