he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize