bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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