when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
