Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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