Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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