lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
