Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
