Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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