Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
