I wish i was in the wii world.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
