I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
