I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
