between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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