I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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