Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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