Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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