Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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