They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
A+ Viking dick
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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