She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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