Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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