well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
