I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
