Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
