I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
3 2 1 whiskey
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize